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Dean on Entertainment Tonight
Volume 3, Issue 5 - June 2 '99
Hi Everybody, (you know who you are)
As I type this email, the letters on my alphanumeric keyboard are slowly melting into a grey plastic puddle on my desk. No, I haven’t been eating mushrooms, it’s just really hot and I haven’t gotten around to installing the air-conditioner in my office yet.
I hope everybody’s doing well and enjoying the nice weather we’ve been experiencing here in the northern hemisphere. And while I’m at it, allow me to express my sincere apologies to those of you who happen to live in places like New Zealand and Australia, for wishing you a happy spring (last email) when in fact it’s the middle of autumn down-under and getting chillier by the minute. In fact, I’m not sure how you feel about us northern-hemis referring to you as living down-under, when, depending on your point of view, you could be the ones living topside, while we’re actually the ones clinging to the bottom of this spinning globe. Down is Up. Up is Down. Last week astronomers (or astrologers – there’s not much difference as far as I can tell.) decided the universe was around 12 billion years old. Uh, oh. A pre-adolescent universe. Be prepared for 6 billion years of snide remarks and a sarcastic attitude. I’m sure we’ll all be relieved when it’s finally time for it to leave home and
get an education. But where will it go to acquire wisdom and knowledge, you ask? Why, to a university, of course!
O.K. I’d better get off the subject of astronostrolomy or I’ll have to expound on my alternative theory of gravity which incorporates my super-yarn theory and variation on Einstein’s oft quoted remark, “God doesn’t play craps with the universe.” This can be interpreted as suggesting that Einstein himself
questioned the quantum mechanical components of his own theory of relativity. In my theorem, God doesn’t play craps with the universe, but he does play Roulette (it’s the spinning) and he’s been known to bet against the house. Which doesn’t make much sense seeing as it’s his house.
Anyway, forget all that stuff. The real reason I’m writing (it’s finally cooled off by the way, now that the sun went down) is to remind you that, barring any slight alteration in the Earth’s orbit, I’m scheduled to play a solo concert on Saturday June 12th at the Merkin Concert Hall (located at 129 W67th St. NY,
NY). Doors open at 8:30pm and the show starts at 9:00pm. Tickets are $25 and there are still tickets available (hint, hint).
You can order by phone at 212-501-3330 or 1-888-275-3600
or ONLINE at http://deanfriedman.com .
Oh, and this is pretty cool: this coming weekend Sat. June 5th and Sun. June 6th the TV show Entertainment Tonight / ET will be doing a short segment on me. (Check local listings for exact times). They sent a video crew to the Turning Point gig a few weeks back and I haven’t seen the segment yet but it should be pretty funny. Check it out.
And now those of you on the other side of the pond: Sorry you have to miss out on all of the fun stuff that’s going on here in the good ol’ US of A and to make matters worse, I regret to report that the plans for me to appear at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival have fallen through and been cancelled for this
year. I had no control over it and was really looking forward to spending the end of August at the Festival. Hopefully, I’ll be able to organize it for next year.
However, I am confirmed to appear at the Jazz Café in London on September 1st which looks like it will be my only UK appearance in ’99. The Jazz Café box office # is: 0171-916-6060 for tickets and reservations.
O.K. What else do I have to tell you? Hmmmmm… Wait, I’m thinking. Hmmmmm… (that’s a thinking sound, in case you were wondering)
Well, I can’t think of anything else important to say. But will that stop me from typing? NO WAY! This is MY
alphanumeric keypad. Bought and paid for with hard earned dollars and I’ll type as fast as my fingers can fly. In fact, I have
five furiously flying fingers flailing frantically away at the keyboard on EACH HAND!!!
Sorry about that. You see, as some of you are no doubt already aware, I’m a lifetime member of AA. Alliterators Anonymous. I face my euphonious demons on a daily basis and well… occasionally, I suffer a momentary lapse.
Where was I?
Oh yeah, I was writing a note that I then intend to broadcast via the internet to my email list which consists of people I know real well and people I know only slightly and some people I hardly know at all and some people I’ve never
even met except through the website and email. This is a little confusing for me sometimes, because when I imagine who I’m writing to I get this vague, out-of-focus image of one big giant friendly face. I hope you appreciate that this a weird and unusual relationship we have. It’s not like writing some syndicated column where I have editors and protocols to adhere to. I can
say pretty much whatever I want and the worst that can happen is you’ll ask to be removed from this email list. WELL GO AHEAD! SEE IF I CARE! This freedom is a little intimidating but also quite exhilarating. Of course, I do practice a certain amount of self-censure. For example, I hardly ever talk about hemorrhoids and when was the last time you heard me make a
Tanya Harding joke? Hardly ever, right? Well, OK once, but that was a long time ago. I’ve matured considerably since then. What I’m trying to say is, I’m still trying to get a handle
on this unique form of communication. It’s a lot different than songwriting. There’s still style involved but in some ways it can
be more direct. Also the immediacy and ease of publishing in this format allows for unusually spontaneous and unedited (read: sloppy and meandering) prose. [Note: this email is not an example of unedited prose; on the contrary, every word of this painstakingly crafted missive was carefully weighed and
balanced in the context of the complex narrative whole. – Yeah, right.]
Do I have any idea what I’m talking about? Not exactly. But it is my goal to write more frequently in an effort to better understand this new medium, so I guess this is sort of a warning. Be on the lookout for more DeanMail. And remember, you’re a crucial part of this. I really enjoy hearing from all of you, even if I can’t always answer all the email I get. The main question that
comes to mind when writing you is this: you seem like a nice bunch of people, you all own computers, I suppose you like my music, but who the hell are you, anyway? It’s a companion sentiment to the impulse that makes me write songs or newsletters in an effort to express myself and make myself understood, that is, the desire to understand my audience. Except that when I’m sitting at my computer typing away like this you don’t exactly seem like an audience you seem like co-conspirators somehow. Accomplices. Almost partners in crime.
Yeah, that’s it! We could all conspire to undermine the existing music industry monolith by supporting and buying product direct from independent artists effectively bypassing the record companies, distributors and retailers and enabling artists to actually see some money for their efforts at the end of the day. What a concept! Naaa. It’ll never work.
Well, that’s all for now. Don’t waste your precious time living other people’s lives. Do what’s important to you and your loved ones. And don’t forget to brush.
Be well,
Dean
See you at the Merkin Concert Hall June 12th.
dean@deanfriedman.com
http://deanfriedman.com