It Was the Best of Times. It Was the Wurst of Times.
Volume 7, Issue 5 - July 14, 2003
This is for the UK/Ireland/European contingent, plus all you good folks 'down under' and in other parts of the world who, owing to recent events, might be under the oh-so-mistaken impression that the United States is solely obsessed with an aggressive, imperialistic policy of cultural, economic, political and military domination of the world. As the following front page headline succinctly proves, we have much more important issues to occupy our collective consciousness with, than such trivialities as ruling the planet.
The following has been headline news, here, for the last few days:
Sausage slugger relishes freedom after beating hot-dog rap!
Pittsburgh Pirates first baseman, Randall Simon, swung his bat at a woman dressed as a huge Italian sausage. The swipe sent the 19 year old in the sausage getup, tumbling to the ground during a staged race among an Italian sausage, a Polish kielbasa, a German bratwurst and an American hot dog.
Simon, in a vintage mustard yellow Pirates uniform, bopped the sausage on the top with his bat as the group of meat products – all Milwaukee Brewer’s employees – passed the Pirates dugout during their traditional 7th inning race. After the hot dog tumbled over the fallen sausage, the kielbasa paused to help and the bratwurst sped on to victory.
The sausage, Mandy Block, and the hot dog, a 21 year old named, Veronica, suffered scraped knees.
And just when the Hot Dog had a good chance to ketch up!!!
You see? We have good intentions! We're good people.
We're just completely nuts!!!
Have a great week!
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