Hurricane Floyd / Website Update
Volume 3, Issue 8 - September 17 '99
Well, thanks to Hurricane Floyd, it was raining too hard the last few
days to play around in the backyard, so instead I would up sitting
in front of this computer, finally finishing up a major revision of my
website, which, in case you forgot, is http://deanfriedman.com .
By the way, I think Floyd is a fine name for a hurricane.
By now, I'm sure you're wondering: Gee, Dean, what sort of major
revisions did you make on your website, which, in case you still
can't remember, is http://deanfriedman.com ?
Gee, let me see, now... hmmmmm...
Well, to start with I've added a few new features, such as...
A new 'LYRICS' section!
Here's why: I'm always getting email from people like the
following... "Dean, it's 3:00 in the morning in a pub in Brisbaine and
my mate and I have a bet going about the line in the 3rd verse of
'Lucky Stars' after you sing - 'Do you feel sleepy?'. What does the
girl sing? Is it #1. 'Aw, you're so sincere'? or #2. 'bring me another
fuckin' beer?' I've got a hunnerd bucks on #2? You wrote the song,
so you should know. So, who wins? PS I've bought all your records
including the 'Summer Holiday' single; don't let me down!"
Now, I'll never find myself in such a hopeless bind. Anyone that
wants to find the lyric to any of the songs off all four of my albums
can simply go to http://deanfriedman.com and click on the LYRIC
section where they can confirm, for once and for all, the correct
spelling of Perquacky.
What else, you ask?
Well, there's also a brand new PHOTO section, which contains not
only fabulous photos from throughout my erstwhile careers as a
performer, reformed cat-burglar and master booble maker, but
includes a FAN PHOTO section which is, dare I say, literally
(Sorry, that's my alliteration reflex getting the best of me again. In
fact, you could say that last sentence was literally littered with
Uh,... where was I? Oh, yes the new PHOTO section of the new
website contains a FAN PHOTO section which, as I've already
indicated, is filled with PHOTOS of YOU! That's right, YOU! The
person reading this email. Well, not all of you, but some of you,
that is, those of you that have sent me .gif's and .jpeg's of
yourselves and your pets too! I'll be adding a few photos every
month, so send me those gif's and jpeg's and lets everybody see
what you all look like.
And that's not all, folks. Nooooooooo, not by a long shot!
FAQ's! That's right; Fuzzy Alpaca Quilts!!! No, actually, that's
Frequently Asked Questions. You know, those endlessly inane
questions I'm constantly asked: Am I related to the great baseball
pitcher 'Dizzy Dean'? Have I slept with Madonna? Do I have a
psyllium husk habit? Is Dean Friedman my real name or did I make
it up for show business?
Finally, my loyal listeners (and readers) any bizarre question
anyone is likely to ask about me or my career can be looked up
and correctly answered in the new FAQ's section of the Official
Dean Friedman Website - http://deanfriedman.com
The only problem is now you'll only ask me 'rarely' asked questions
and then I'll have to add a new section to the website called RAQ's
and then... See what happens?
So you see, ol' Deano's been pretty busy lately. LYRICS,
But is that all there is? Huh? Huh?
Nope. Because the new website also contains...
LISTENERS LINKS. I've always had a LINKS area where I've
included links to pals and folks who's work I admire. Well, I've
added a separate 'links' area for all the people on my email list who
have their own sites and have been kind enough to include a
mention and link back to mine. It's sort of a loosenit Deano Web
Ring. This way all of you get to explore the sites of all the other
obviously deranged (but extremely nice) individuals with something
in common, namely an affinity for an obscure, underated,
underexposed recording artist who's Official Web Site URL
happens to be: http://deanfriedman.com
Whew... you know it's exhausting just trying to explain all this;
imagine what it was like programming it!
Oh, and there's also a new PRESS section but it's not anywhere
near complete as I'm still waiting for Hannah to finish typing up a
lot of the early reviews. Still, there are a few nice articles you
should check out including the NY PRESS piece by JR Taylor and
a recent review in the NY Times by Lynn Ames. Just click on the
PRESS link and it'll take you there.
Is there anything else? Let's see... Hmmmm... It seems like I've
forgotten something. Oh yeah.
If you've read this far, you're probably asking yourself, 'a new
website is all well and good, but why is Dean wasting valuable time
producing website when he should really be in the studio recording
his next album!!!!???
I'm glad you asked. See, folks, the answer is...
As much as I'd love to spend all day in the recording studio making
music, the frustrating reality is I still don't make a real living at this
music business stuff. It's true. I wish it were otherwise, believe me.
And it could be.
It could be if two things happened:
1. If my email list continues to expand and grow. I believe
eventually my online audience will reach a critical threshold that
will actually enable me to be a full-time musician. That would be
2. You just have to buy more STUFF!
Now I don't want to place any undue burden on your already
beleagured shoulders. There are only about 2000 of you on this
email list, at the moment. It sounds like a lot but not if only a few of
you order CD's at a time.
So, here's the plan: If all of you order AT THE SAME TIME, I'll
actually be able to spend the next few months writing some more
songs. What do you think?
(As you can see, I've given this a lot of serious thought.)
Funnily enough, it just so happens that I've got exactly 2000 freshly
pressed CD's sitting around waiting to be shipped to eager
listeners around the globe.
Now, I know many of you have already ordered in the past 24
months and maybe some of you are thinking, gee, Dean, I already
own all your CD's. Well, I can understand that, but consider this...
Christmas, Chanukah and Kwanza are just around the corner
which means now is the perfect time to order that perfect thoughtful
gift for your girlfriend, cousin, brother, boss, local policeman,
neighbor, husband or wife. And I don't want to leave out important
people like second-cousins and uncles and aunts and ex-wives and
ex-husbands and boyfriends and mistresses, and the mailman and
the maillady, and let's not forget the BBC's TV License Inspector!
The point is, all these good people deserve a nicely wrapped CD for
the upcoming holidays.
Dean, are you serious about this?
Absolutely. The truth is, I'm counting on you.
Now, here's where 20 years of studious marketing analysis comes
That's right, 10% OFF all stuff. From now until October 1st, all
those that place an online order via the Official Dean Friedman
Website http://deanfriedman.com will receive a ***10% discount***
off the listed price for all merchandise including CD's, tapes, Songs-
For-Grownup T-Shirts and tour posters.
Gee, a sale! I feel just like CDNOW or Amazon.com!!! Whew, I'm
By the way, FYI, anytime you order one of my CD's on any other
website such as CDNOW or Amazon.com, please be aware that I
will NEVER see a PENNY of that transaction. It's a long, ridiculous
story, but that's the music business. So, please, if you do order
my music on-line, order from the one and only, Official - and
recently updated - Dean Friedman Website which you can find by
going to http://deanfriedman.com
So there. I feel much better now.
Now you can feel free to browse the brand spanking new Official
Dean Friedman Web Site to check out all the new features and
sections. Let me know what you think of it.
And don't forget: 10% off everything until October 1st. 1999.
and all the other cool stuff you see in ads...
ONE WEEK ONLY! (well actually it's 2 weeks only)
NEW AND IMPROVED!
LIVE NUDE MODELS!
ALL YOU CAN EAT!
NO FEE CHECKING!
FREE! FREE! FREE!
AS SEEN ON TV!
KEEP OFF THE GRASS!
JUST SAY... YES!
JUST DO IT!
LEGGO MY EGGO!
IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT!
Yes, I know, this bit has gone on much too long but I can't figure
out a way to end it. Oh, I guess I just did.
So, that's all for now, folks. Thanks for your patience and good
humor, letting me ramble on like this every now and then.
Anyway, I've said what I had to say, so...
On your mark, get ready, get set...
Talk to you soon. Have a safe weekend.
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